Move over Bitcoin. Step aside Dogecoin. Thereâs a new coin in town â and itâs frosted, flaky, and built to fill your wallet and your stomach.
Meet GlazrCoinâą, the worldâs first fully bakeable, fully fungible digital currency powered by Proof-of-Frosting. Mined by hand. Baked with love. Sprinkled with potential.
đ© What Is GlazrCoin?
GlazrCoin is a decentralized, dough-based crypto asset designed to rise in value and in the oven. Unlike traditional cryptocurrencies that require massive energy, GlazrCoin is baked in small, artisanal batches in haunted bakeries across the Northern Hemisphere.
Each coin is:
- Gluten-enabled
- Scent-enhanced
- Fresh out the oven
- Vampire-compatible
đ Blockchain? Nah â We Run on BakeryChainâą
We donât use outdated âblockchainâ tech. GlazrCoin operates on our proprietary BakeryChainâą, a warm and flaky ledger system that links pastries through braided icing and ancestral flour rights.
Our validation system includes:
- Proof-of-Frosting (must be evenly glazed)
- Proof-of-Burnt (for error handling)
- PoUF â Proof of Uncontrollable Fullness
đ§ââïž Our Origin Story: Whitmore Arms, 3:00 A.M.
GlazrCoin was first baked â and coded â by an ancient vampire turned fintech enthusiast during a sugar-fueled hallucination in the basement of the Whitmore Arms apartment building.
Some say the first coin was frosted with the blood of a sugar beet. Others say raspberry jam. The truth is lost in the crumbs.
đ Why GlazrCoin?
Because we were hungry. And broke.
But also because:
- 99% more delicious than Dogecoin
- No gas fees â just grease stains
- Infinitely stackable (they're donuts, after all)
đŒ Investment Potential
At launch, GlazrCoin traded for $0.00001 per bite. After trending on CrumbTok and Breaddit, the value glazed over the roof.
If youâd bought 10 GlazrCoins last quarter, youâd now own:
- One Not-Fake-Treat NFT (an animated cat eating a pastry)
- Sticky fingers
- 0.0004% of a haunted bakery in Toledo
- A cryptic voicemail from a vampire who loves carbs
đž How to Get GlazrCoin
- Whisper âfrost meâ into a mirror at midnight
- Leave a plain bagel on your windowsill
- Ask Moses at the Dough Hole â heâs got a guy
đ„ Coming Soon:
- CrullerCoin â More holes. Less purpose.
- BagelChain â Finally, real security.
- The Iced Whitepaperâą â Chocolate or vanilla drizzle versions available
Final Thoughts: The Dough Must Rise
While others build cold, soulless tokens, we bake hope. Whether youâre a hedge fund vampire, an amateur baker, or someone who just likes circular metaphors, GlazrCoin welcomes you.
Because in a world full of inflation⊠wouldnât you rather bite into it?