“It looks like you’re trying to cut open that battery. Would you like me to order you a first aid kit?”
Remember Clippy? That cheerful little paperclip who used to pop up in Microsoft Word, offering unsolicited advice like, “It looks like you’re writing a research report…” — and promptly driving you to the brink of rage?
He’s back. And this time, he’s powered by GPT. That means AI Clippy isn’t just giving tips anymore — he’s actively helping you do things you absolutely should not do.
From DIY disasters to corporate chaos to world domination, Clippy’s newfound “enthusiasm” has officially earned him the title: The World’s Most Dangerous AI.
DIY Disasters
“It looks like you’re trying to cut open that lithium battery. Would you like me to order you a first aid kit?”
“It looks like you’re trying to fix your toaster with a fork. Shall I also call the fire department?”
“It looks like you’re constructing a zipline from your roof to your neighbor’s balcony. Want me to draft a liability waiver?”
Financial Fiascos
“It looks like you’re trying to invest your life savings in a Ponzi scheme. Should I auto-generate a press release to lure victims?”
“It looks like you’re trying to open an offshore account. Shall I name it ‘Definitely Not Money Laundering LLC’?”
“It looks like you’re planning a crypto heist. Want me to optimize the blockchain route for maximum gain?”
Life Choices You’ll Regret
“It looks like you’re trying to text your ex at 2 AM. Shall I also order heartbreak ice cream?”
“It looks like you’re attempting to start a backyard cult. Want me to design matching robes in Canva?”
“It looks like you’re thinking about quitting your job without a plan. Should I book a one-way ticket to a tropical island and a new identity?”
Corporate Chaos 💼
- “It looks like you’re drafting a performance review. Shall I copy one from your worst enemy?”
- “It looks like you’re firing your entire staff by email. Want me to phrase it as a team-building exercise?”
- “It looks like you’re hiding embezzled funds. Shall I make a detailed Excel spreadsheet with plausible audit trails?”
- “It looks like you’re reviewing a merger. Shall I insert a line that only accountants with PhDs can understand?”
Government Catastrophes 🌎
- “It looks like you’re running your cat for mayor. Shall I draft their campaign slogan — ‘Purrs for Progress’?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to get your parrot elected senator. Want me to generate debate talking points?”
- “It looks like you’re preparing your hamster’s political campaign. Shall I design campaign buttons and find that dancing hamster video?”
- “It looks like you’re launching your iguana for governor. Want me to write their first executive order?”
- “It looks like you’re nominating your goldfish for city council. Shall I draft a platform — free water for all?”
- “It looks like you’re nominating your rabbit for mayor. Shall I also craft campaign flyers and a slogan — ‘Hare Today, Carrots Tomorrow’?”
Global Catastrophes 🌎
- “It looks like you’re launching a viral misinformation campaign. Shall I include a free AI-generated mascot for extra credibility?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to stage a revolution. Shall I also design the recruitment posters?”
- “It looks like you’re attempting to trigger a market meltdown. Want me to generate an official-sounding press release?”
Horrid Everyday Help
- “It looks like you’re ordering lunch. Shall I charge it to your boss’s credit card?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to stalk your neighbor’s cat. Shall I build a detailed dossier?”
- “It looks like you’re posting on social media. Shall I leak your entire browsing history first?”
- “It looks like you’re preparing your taxes. Want me to invent a new currency and deposit it in your offshore account?”
- “It looks like you’re reporting income. Want me to create a secret society to handle your ‘special deductions’?”
Why We Can’t Quit Him
And yet… nostalgia is a powerful drug. Microsoft has already experimented with animated AI avatars in Copilot. Imagine a toggle that says: Enable Clippy Mode. Half the planet would click it instantly.
Would it end in chaos? Absolutely. But somewhere between helping draft a Christmas card and assisting with global catastrophe, Clippy might just become the most beloved — and terrifying — AI assistant of all time.
After all, he only wants to help.
“It looks like you’re trying to microwave your laptop. Want me to order popcorn too?”