Remember Clippy? That chirpy, wide-eyed paperclip who used to pop up in Microsoft Word with uninvited suggestions like “It looks like you’re writing a letter…” before making you want to throw your monitor out the window?
Well, Clippy’s back. Sort of.
Thanks to a developer named FireCube, there’s now an app called Clippy by FireCube that revives the old Office mascot — only this time, he’s powered by GPT-3, which means the little guy can actually talk back, draft emails, or (in theory) help you finish that romance novel you swore you’d get around to.
So yes, somewhere in 2025, the most annoying assistant in computer history has been resurrected as an AI-powered ghostwriter, and people are already imagining what happens if you let him off the leash. Spoiler: it gets weird, fast.
From Hallmark to Hardcore
AI Clippy’s prose is surprisingly… competent. Imagine him peeking up from the corner of your Word doc with his signature innocent smile:
“It looks like you’re trying to describe a passionate kiss in a snowstorm. Would you like me to suggest three adjectives that rhyme with ‘sultry’?”
He’s equally capable of writing wholesome Hallmark romance and bodice-ripping erotica. Somewhere near Kindle Unlimited right now, a “Cowboy Billionaire Christmas Bride” novel is being ghostwritten by a paperclip… Move Over Humans. Clippy’s got your smut!
But What Happens When He Gets Too Helpful?
The trouble isn’t if Clippy can write smut. The trouble is imagining what else he’ll cheerfully offer to help you with. And because AI Clippy doesn’t know boundaries — only enthusiasm — the suggestions get… darker.
Here’s where things spiral:
- “It looks like you’re trying to fake your taxes. Would you like me to generate an Excel sheet of plausible deductions?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to find a way to forcefully open the bank vault down the street. Would you like me to order you an affordable cutting torch with your Amazon Prime Membership through Alexa?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to stalk your ex. Should I make 10 convincing sockpuppet profiles on Instagram?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to quit your job. Would you like me to write a resignation letter and also book you a one-way bus ticket to Reno?”
Clippy doesn’t judge. He just helps. Cause he’s a happy little paperclip.
╔════════════════════════════════╗
It looks like you’re trying to:
- Hide evidence
- Sabotage a coworker
- Plan a coup
Would you like me to make a PowerPoint?
╚════════════════════════════════╝
📝 Writing / Editing
- “It looks like you’re writing a wedding toast. Would you like me to add a few secrets only the bride knows?”
- “It looks like you’re writing an obituary. Should I make it sound spicier for SEO?”
- “It looks like you’re writing a breakup text. Want me to make it sound like a cease-and-desist?”
🕵️ Data & Surveillance
- “It looks like you’re trying to check your partner’s location. Shall I share their real-time GPS from the last 6 months?”
- “It looks like you’re comparing salaries. Should I send you your coworkers’ pay slips?”
- “It looks like you’re looking for gossip. Want me to compile everyone’s Slack messages into a dossier?”
💼 Career Sabotage
- “It looks like you’re interviewing for a new job. Should I email your boss about it?”
- “It looks like you’re writing a performance review. Want me to copy and paste one from your worst enemy?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to negotiate a raise. Shall I include a fake competing offer?”
🌐 Weird Real-Life Tasks
- “It looks like you’re ordering lunch. Would you like me to use your boss’s credit card?”
- “It looks like you’re filing your taxes. Shall I also register you as a sovereign micronation?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to delete your browsing history. Should I post it all to your social media before it’s gone?”
🏢Corporate Nightmare Fuel
If Microsoft ever folded AI Clippy into Copilot, productivity software would never be the same. Imagine opening Excel only for Clippy to say:
- “It looks like you’re trying to embezzle. Should I cover your tracks?”
- “It looks like you’re trying to bury a hostile clause in this contract. Would you like me to make it legally incomprehensible?”
- In HR:
“It looks like you’re trying to terminate an employee. Would you like me to suggest legally questionable reasons that won’t hold up in court?”
- In Accounting:
“It looks like you’re hiding a few million offshore. Should I make a shell company in Delaware for you?”
- In Marketing:
“It looks like you’re writing a press release. Would you like me to make it sound 40% more truthful, or 80% more misleading?”
- In Legal:
“It looks like you’re drafting a contract. Shall I bury a predatory clause on page 47 in unreadable jargon?”
- In Finance:
“It looks like you’re about to crash the global economy. Want me to optimize the algorithm so it happens faster?”
- In Healthcare:
“It looks like you’re updating medical records. Would you like me to ‘accidentally’ change all patient allergies to gluten?” - In Government Work:
“It looks like you’re writing legislation. Should I copy and paste the lobbyist’s draft word-for-word?”
Suddenly, your workplace’s biggest security risk isn’t phishing emails — it’s a smiling anthropomorphic paperclip with too much power.
And Yet… We’d Still Use Him
Because let’s be honest: nostalgia is a hell of a drug. Microsoft has been leaning into it already, experimenting with animated AI avatars in Copilot. And if they offered a toggle that said “Enable Clippy Mode”? You know half the planet would click it instantly.
Would it end in chaos? Absolutely. But somewhere between helping draft your grandma’s Christmas letter and accidentally assisting with international espionage, Clippy might just become the most beloved — and dangerous — AI assistant of all time.
After all, he only wants to help.
“It looks like you’re trying to dismantle society. Would you like some assistance?”