Experimental SQL Vampire Fiction
Chapter 1: Shadow's Bar Adventure
-- Shadow Conn enters the coffee shop
INSERT INTO CoffeeShop (Customer, Time, Mood)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', '00:05', 'Hungry and Angry');
-- Jaq is late, check the parking lot
SELECT * FROM Vehicles
WHERE Owner = 'Jaq'
AND Status = 'Present';
-- Vampire notices empty café
IF (SELECT COUNT(*) FROM Customers WHERE Time >= '00:00') = 1
BEGIN
PRINT 'The coffee shop is eerily empty... just me and the bitter barista.'
END
-- Attempt to order a drink
INSERT INTO Orders (Customer, Drink, Extras)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Caramel Latte', 'Untouched');
-- Check if Jaq arrived
SELECT CASE
WHEN EXISTS (SELECT * FROM Vehicles WHERE Owner = 'Jaq' AND Status = 'Present')
THEN 'Jaq is late'
ELSE 'Still no Jaq, must find bourbon'
END AS StatusCheck;
-- Shadow decides to leave for the bar
UPDATE CustomerLocation
SET Location = 'Bar'
WHERE Customer = 'Shadow Conn';
-- Mood adjustment after leaving café
UPDATE CoffeeShop
SET Mood = 'Determined'
WHERE Customer = 'Shadow Conn';
-- Subplot tracking
INSERT INTO PlotLines (Character, Objective, Status)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Find Jaq and survive midnight hunger', 'In Progress');
-- Optional vampire drama
SELECT TOP 1 BloodLevel, EnergyLevel
FROM ShadowConn
ORDER BY Time DESC;
-- Shadow enters the bar, check if any patrons are interesting
SELECT Name, Drink, SuspiciousLevel
FROM Patrons
WHERE Location = 'Bar'
ORDER BY SuspiciousLevel DESC;
-- Shadow scopes out bourbon options
INSERT INTO InventoryCheck (Item, Location, Status)
VALUES ('Bourbon', 'Bar', 'Available');
-- Determine best strategy for finding Jaq
DECLARE @Plan NVARCHAR(MAX);
SET @Plan = 'Check alley, question patrons, prepare for unexpected drama';
-- Execute plan: check alley
SELECT *
FROM Alleys
WHERE NearbyBar = 'Bar'
AND Time BETWEEN '00:10' AND '00:30';
-- Shadow considers using vampiric powers for intel
UPDATE ShadowConn
SET PowerUse = 'DetectPresence'
WHERE Objective = 'Find Jaq';
-- Mystery twist: Jaq left a note?
INSERT INTO NotesFound (Character, Content, Location)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Meet me behind the warehouse, midnight', 'Bar');
-- Update plotline based on clue
UPDATE PlotLines
SET Status = 'ClueFound'
WHERE Character = 'Shadow Conn' AND Objective = 'Find Jaq';
-- Check for enemies nearby (optional tension)
SELECT EnemyName, ThreatLevel
FROM Enemies
WHERE Location = 'Bar'
AND Time >= '00:00'
ORDER BY ThreatLevel DESC;
-- Shadow drinks bourbon and gains +5 energy
UPDATE ShadowConn
SET EnergyLevel = EnergyLevel + 5
WHERE Location = 'Bar';
-- Prepare to move to next location
INSERT INTO TravelPlans (Character, Destination, Mode)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Warehouse', 'Stealth');
--
-- Shadow approaches the warehouse, checking for potential traps
DECLARE @TrapDetected BIT = 0;
SELECT TrapType, Severity
FROM WarehouseTraps
WHERE Location = 'Warehouse'
AND Time <= '00:45';
IF EXISTS (SELECT * FROM WarehouseTraps WHERE Severity > 7)
SET @TrapDetected = 1;
-- Shadow prepares backup plan
INSERT INTO BackupPlans (Character, Plan, Priority)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Retreat and regroup', 'High');
-- Encounter with Jaq: suspense build
SELECT Jaq.Status, Jaq.Location, Jaq.Mood
FROM Characters AS Jaq
WHERE Jaq.Name = 'Jaq';
-- Conditional branching based on Jaq's mood
IF (SELECT Mood FROM Characters WHERE Name = 'Jaq') = 'Angry'
BEGIN
INSERT INTO ActionsTaken (Character, Action, Result)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Approach cautiously', 'HighRisk');
END
ELSE
BEGIN
INSERT INTO ActionsTaken (Character, Action, Result)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Approach confidently', 'Safe');
END;
-- Vampire powers activation
UPDATE ShadowConn
SET PowerUse = 'ShadowBlend, EnhancedHearing'
WHERE Objective = 'Find Jaq';
-- Dialogue simulation
INSERT INTO Conversations (Speaker, Listener, Message)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', 'Jaq', 'You’re late. Where have you been?');
INSERT INTO Conversations (Speaker, Listener, Message)
VALUES ('Jaq', 'Shadow Conn', 'Unexpected complications…don’t ask.');
-- Shadow analyzes situation
SELECT SituationAnalysis
FROM Mindset
WHERE Character = 'Shadow Conn';
-- Decision point: attack or negotiate
DECLARE @Decision NVARCHAR(50);
SET @Decision = CASE
WHEN (SELECT Mood FROM Characters WHERE Name = 'Jaq') = 'Angry' THEN 'Negotiate'
ELSE 'Attack'
END;
-- Log Shadow’s next action
INSERT INTO NextMoves (Character, Decision, ConfidenceLevel)
VALUES ('Shadow Conn', @Decision, 85);
-- Cliffhanger for chapter 2
RAISEERROR('Chapter ends: Midnight showdown imminent.', 16, 1);
-- Chapter 3: The Midnight Query
BEGIN TRANSACTION Shadow_Chase;
-- Shadow approaches her car, noticing an anomaly in the shadows
DECLARE @VampireLocation VARCHAR(50);
SET @VampireLocation = (SELECT TOP 1 Location
FROM Vampire_Registry
WHERE Name = 'Jaq'
AND Status = 'Missing');
IF @VampireLocation IS NULL
BEGIN
PRINT 'Error: No vampire detected. Possible deception or mischief.';
INSERT INTO Shadow_Thoughts (Thought)
VALUES ('Why is he always late? Is this a trap?');
END
ELSE
BEGIN
PRINT 'Vampire located. Engaging pursuit protocol.';
INSERT INTO Shadow_Actions (Action)
VALUES ('Start engine, follow shadow coordinates.');
END;
-- Unexpected join with the local bar patrons table
SELECT p.Name, p.Beverage
FROM Local_Patrons p
JOIN Shadow_Path s ON p.Location = s.Current_Spot
WHERE s.Target = 'Jaq';
-- Shadow realizes something is off, triggering her internal debug mode
RAISERROR('Warning: Temporal anomaly detected. Vampire is not where coordinates indicate.', 16, 1);
COMMIT TRANSACTION Shadow_Chase;
-- Chapter 4: Confronting the Late Vampire
BEGIN TRANSACTION Shadow_Confronts_Jaq;
-- Shadow approaches the dimly lit bar
DECLARE @BarID INT;
SET @BarID = (SELECT TOP 1 BarID FROM Local_Bars WHERE Name = 'The Midnight Brew');
-- Verify Jaq's presence
DECLARE @JaqStatus VARCHAR(20);
SET @JaqStatus = (SELECT Status FROM Vampire_Registry WHERE Name = 'Jaq');
IF @JaqStatus = 'Hiding'
BEGIN
PRINT 'Jaq is hiding. Shadow must activate persuasion protocol.';
INSERT INTO Shadow_Thoughts (Thought)
VALUES ('Why is he hiding? What is he afraid of?');
END
ELSE
BEGIN
PRINT 'Jaq detected in bar. Prepare for interaction.';
END;
-- Interaction sequence
INSERT INTO Shadow_Actions (Action)
VALUES ('Approach Jaq at table', 'Demand explanation for delay');
-- Dialogue exchange
DECLARE @JaqResponse VARCHAR(MAX);
SET @JaqResponse = (SELECT Response FROM Vampire_Registry WHERE Name = 'Jaq');
IF @JaqResponse IS NULL
BEGIN
SET @JaqResponse = 'Apologies Shadow, unexpected complications at the coven council.';
PRINT @JaqResponse;
INSERT INTO Shadow_Thoughts (Thought)
VALUES ('Coven council? That explains his lateness. But why not tell me earlier?');
END
ELSE
BEGIN
PRINT 'Jaq explains: ' + @JaqResponse;
END;
-- Shadow decides next action based on response
INSERT INTO Shadow_Actions (Action)
VALUES ('Listen carefully', 'Consider trust level and next steps');
-- Alert: Possible plot twist
RAISERROR('Alert: Coven intrigue detected. Shadow must decide whether to intervene.', 16, 1);
COMMIT TRANSACTION Shadow_Confronts_Jaq;
-- Chapter 5: Shadow's Decision
BEGIN TRANSACTION Shadow_Decides;
-- Check trust level with Jaq
DECLARE @TrustLevel INT;
SET @TrustLevel = (SELECT TrustScore FROM Shadow_Registry WHERE Target = 'Jaq');
-- Decision point: Help or Bite
IF @TrustLevel >= 5
BEGIN
PRINT 'Shadow decides to help Jaq.';
-- Helping sequence
INSERT INTO Shadow_Actions (Action, Outcome)
VALUES ('Assist Jaq with coven council issues', 'Strengthens alliance and gains insider info');
-- Update plot flags
UPDATE Plot_Flags
SET Status = 'AllianceFormed'
WHERE Character = 'Shadow';
PRINT 'Plot Update: Alliance with Jaq secured. New opportunities unlocked.';
END
ELSE
BEGIN
PRINT 'Shadow decides to bite Jaq. Initiate vampire protocol.';
-- Biting sequence
INSERT INTO Shadow_Actions (Action, Outcome)
VALUES ('Bite Jaq', 'Gain temporary power boost, risk coven retaliation');
-- Update plot flags
UPDATE Plot_Flags
SET Status = 'ConflictTriggered'
WHERE Character = 'Shadow';
PRINT 'Plot Update: Shadow has bitten Jaq. Tensions with coven escalate.';
END;
-- Shadow thoughts
INSERT INTO Shadow_Thoughts (Thought)
VALUES ('Every choice has consequences. Will power or alliance prevail?');
COMMIT TRANSACTION Shadow_Decides;
-- Chapter 6: Consequences
BEGIN TRANSACTION Shadow_Consequence;
-- Fetch last action
DECLARE @LastAction VARCHAR(50);
SET @LastAction = (SELECT TOP 1 Action FROM Shadow_Actions ORDER BY ActionID DESC);
-- Branch consequences
IF @LastAction = 'Assist Jaq with coven council issues'
BEGIN
PRINT 'Shadow and Jaq work together to uncover hidden threats.';
INSERT INTO Story_Progress (Scene, Outcome)
VALUES ('Coven Council', 'Shadow gains trust, uncovers secret plots, alliance solidified');
PRINT 'Ending Note: Cooperation has brought strategic advantage and mutual respect.';
END
ELSE IF @LastAction = 'Bite Jaq'
BEGIN
PRINT 'Shadow’s bite escalates tensions in the coven.';
INSERT INTO Story_Progress (Scene, Outcome)
VALUES ('Coven Confrontation', 'Jaq enraged, coven challenges Shadow, fight ensues');
PRINT 'Ending Note: Shadow’s impulsive choice leads to chaos, but power surge achieved.';
END;
-- Final reflection
INSERT INTO Shadow_Thoughts (Thought)
VALUES ('Choices define paths. Tonight, the coffee shop is quiet, but tomorrow the consequences awaken.');
COMMIT TRANSACTION Shadow_Consequence;
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